Thursday, December 31, 2009

Itchy Palm Symptoms Vicodin

rat poop in the glue of envelopes

Cari amici,
near the end of 2009 to
would like to thank all the email I submitted this year.
thank those who sent me the email that spoke of rat poop in the glue of envelopes,
so now I use a damp sponge every time I close a letter.

I finished my savings because I screwed it to the sick girl who
dying in the hospital for the 387,258 th time. But it will get better after I received the
£ 15,000 that Bill Gates and Microsoft sent me
participate in their special e-mail program. Alternatively, negotiate with
head cashier of the Bank of Nigeria who wants to split
of 7,000,000 U.S. dollars with me saying he was a distant relative of a current
who died without leaving a will, I accept a contribution of only 200 Euro
.

I do not care for me, because there are 363,214 angels looking at me
shoulders and I learned that my prayers are heard and heeded only if
forwarding the mail to seven of your friends and make a wish within five minutes after
.

I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can
remove stains from the toilet bowl. I do not make more gasoline without
bring with me a friend who checks that a serial killer conceals the
back seat while I fill the serbatoio. Non vado più ai centri
commerciali perché qualcuno potrebbe drogarmi con un campione di profumo e
derubarmi. Non rispondo più al telefono perché qualcuno potrebbe chiedermi di
digitare un numero e poi riceverei una bolletta telefonica con migliaia di
chiamate in Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore e Uzbekistan.

Non posso neppure raccogliere la banconota da 5 euro che ho trovato per terra in parcheggio
perché probabilmente è stata lasciata lì da un molestatore sessuale che aspetta
dietro una macchina per abusare di me.

Se non mandate questa mail ad almeno
144.000 persone nei prossimi 70 minuti un enorme gabbiano con la diarrea vi
cagherà in head tomorrow afternoon at 5, 22. I know for sure because it's already happened to a friend
a neighbor's former mother-in-law's second husband of my cousin
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


E. ... by the way: a South American scientist,
after long studies, has found that people with low intelligence quotient
enough sex and are not always read the mail
holding the hand on the mouse.

Do not take the trouble to raise my hand now it is too late


said .... will be a good 2010?
I'll hope .....

Monday, December 28, 2009

Where Can I Find Free Dragon Ball Doujinshi

WOMEN: we recycle


 

U na donna rientra a casa e trova il marito a letto con una bella e giovane ragazza.

"Porco schifoso!" gli grida la donna, "Come hai potuto farmi questo, una
moglie fedele, la madre dei tuoi figli! Ti lascio immediatamente, chiederò il divorzio!"


And her husband: "Hey a moment, at least let me explain one thing ..."


"All right, - she says - so they will be I hear your last words ... "


He begins:" I was getting in the car to come home when this girl approached me and asked me a ride. He seemed bewildered, frightened and helpless: I really pity, so I made get in the car. I noticed that she was very thin, poorly dressed and very dirty.


He said he had not eaten for three days! Thus, taken out of compassion, I brought it home and I heated the rolls of flesh that I have prepared for you last night, those who have not eaten for fear of putting on weight. Well, I have eaten in a while!


As it was dirty I asked to take a shower while he was in the bathroom I saw that his clothes were filthy and full of holes: I have thrown away. Since she needed clothes, I gave your Armani jeans a few years ago, you did not add more because you have become close.


I gave her an intimate that I had bought for your birthday, but do not wear because you say that I have bad taste.


I gave even the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas but do not place them to a contempt, and even those boots that you had taken that expensive boutique but that did not bear in an office because it had a pair equal ... "


At this point, the man takes a deep breath and continues:" I was so grateful for my understanding and help and accompanied him to the door, I turned into tears and asked me
"There is something else that your wife does not use any more?"

     

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Least Busy Dmv In Los Angeles

MOTOR CAT Butter! Letter


THE ENGINE CAT Butter (Author: Murphy, the same of the famous law).

Materials Needed: Cat (1) slices of bread (1) Butter (50 g) Spalmaburro (1) Persian Rugs antichi (1)

Realizzazione:Prendere la fetta di pane e spalmare con cura il burro su UNA SOLA della due facce.Attaccare il gatto SULLA FACCIA NON IMBURRATA della fetta di pane.

Lasciare cadere il tutto sul tappeto persiano.

Note Bene che il tappeto DEVE essere ANTICO e PREZIOSISSIMO, piu' e' prezioso e piu' potente sara' il motore.

Ora, per note leggi naturali, il gatto cade sempre sulle quattro zampe e il pane cade, sui tappeti preziosi, SOLAMENTE dalla parte del BURRO.

Quindi l'insieme Pane Imburrato/Gatto rimarra' a mezz'aria roteando con velocita' crescente, trying to restore order in the natural laws.

properly connecting a generator to the whole bread and butter / Cat, you can 'get electrical power proportional to the amount' of butter, bread and the value of the area of \u200b\u200bthe carpet.


Monday, December 21, 2009

Where I Can Sale My Point Of Interest

brilliant radio maria

genial letter sent to Radio Maria. To read absolutely!


Some time ago a well-known religious from the airwaves of Radio Maria, a listener said that homosexuality 'and' an abomination, because they say it is the Bible (Leviticus 18:22).

an abomination that can not be tolerated under any circumstances.

10 days ago that same listener wrote this letter to the famous religious ...

Letter of May 16, 2009 Dear

priest, I am writing to thank you for your educational work on the laws of the Lord.

I learned a lot from his program, and I tried to share that knowledge with as many people as possible.

Now, when someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it is an abomination.

End of discussion.

But I need some advice from you, about other specific laws and how to apply .-

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as provided for in Exodus 21:7. What do you think would be a good selling price?

When I give focus to a bull on the altar of sacrifice, I know from the scriptures that it produces a pleasant aroma to the Lord (Leviticus 1.9). The problem is with my neighbors. Those blasphemous claim that the 'smell is not pleasant for them. I not struck?

I know I can have contact with a woman while she is menstruating (Leviticus 15:19-24). The problem is: how do I ask if the have or not?

Many women s'offendono.

- Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this can be done with the Mexicans, but not with the French.

Can you clarify? Why can not I own Canadians? -

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly says he should be put to death.

are morally obligated to kill him myself?

- A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Leviticus 11:10), it is not homosexuality.

I disagree. Can you settle this?

- Leviticus 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have defective eyesight. I have to admit that I use reading glasses ...

my vision have to be 10/10 or is there some wiggle room here?

- Many of my male friends shave their hair, including those near the temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by the Bible (Leviticus 19:27).

How should they die?

- In Leviticus 11:6-8 is that touching the skin of dead pig makes me unclean. To play football so I have to wear gloves?

- My uncle has a farm. He 's gone against Leviticus 19:19, because planting two different crops in the same field, and even his wife has violated the same step, because by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton / polyester blend). Not only that my uncle swears to go around. Is it really necessary that I take the trouble to radunare tutti gli abitanti della città per lapidarli come prescrivono le scritture?

Non potrei, più  semplicemente, dargli fuoco mentre dormono, come simpaticamente consiglia Levitico 20:14 per le persone che giacciono con consanguinei?  

So che Lei ha studiato approfonditamente questi argomenti, per cui sono sicuro che potrà rispondermi a queste semplici domande.

Nell'occasione, la ringrazio ancora per ricordare a tutti noi che i comandamenti sono eterni e immutabili.

Sempre suo ammiratore devoto."  

Best regards, Camilla Cavalcoli

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Rpg Maker Xp Weight Gain

life lessons

Lesson No. 1
A man goes into the shower immediately after his wife and at the same time
ring the doorbell.
She wraps a towel around the body, running down the stairs and
goes to open the door
is John, the neighbor.
Before she can say anything he says, I'll give you 800 Euro
cash in now if you drop the towel!
and reflects a moment in the towel falls to the ground ...
He looks in depth and from the agreed sum.
you, a bit 'shaken, but happy for the small fortune earned in a moment
dates back to the bathroom.
Her husband, still in the shower who was asked to door.
She answers: was John.
Husband: perfect, I returned the 800 € that I paid?

Moral No. 1: If you work in teams, share more information! _________________________


Lesson No. 2
At the wheel of his car, an elderly priest is taken back
a young nun at the convent.
The priest can not remove his eyes from her legs crossed. Suddenly
rests his hand on the left thigh of a nun.
She looks at him and said: Father, remember Psalm 129?
The priest immediately withdraw your hand and is lost in a thousand excuses.
Soon after, taking advantage of a change of gear, let his hand
sfiori la coscia della religiosa che imperterrita ripete: Padre, si ricorda
il salmo 129?
Mortificato, ritira la mano, balbettando una scusa.
Arrivati al convento, la monaca scende senza dire una parola. Il prete,
preso dal rimorso dell'insano gesto si precipita sulla Bibbia alla ricerca
del salmo 129.
'Salmo 129: andate avanti, sempre più in alto, troverete la gloria...'

Morale n° 2: Al lavoro, siate sempre ben informati!
____________________________________

Lezione n° 3
Un rappresentante, un impiegato e un direttore del personale escono
dall'ufficio a mezzogiorno e vanno verso un ristorantino quando sopra una
panca trovano an old oil lamp. The
and rub the genie appears.
'Generally, three wishes, but as you are three, they each have a
'.
The employee pushes the other and shouts, 'it's my turn to me ....
I want to be on a pristine beach in the Bahamas, always on holiday, no
thought that would disturb my peace '.
said vanishes. The representative
cries: 'To me, to me, it's up to me! I want to enjoy a
pinacolada on a beach in Tahiti with the woman of my dreams' And
vanishes.
It's up to you, says the genie, looking at the personnel officer.
'I want those two come back after lunch to work!'

Moral # 3: Always let the boss to speak first! _______________________________________


Lesson No. 4
In class the teacher turns to John and asks him: 'There are five
birds perched on a branch. If you shoot at a bird, how many remain
? ' Gianni says, 'No, because with the noise of the shot will fly away
all'. The teacher: 'Well, the answer was four, but I like how
reasons'.
Then Hans says' Can I ask you a question now? The teacher 'Alright.
There are three women sitting on a bench eating ice cream. A
licks him gently on the sides, the second swallows it all up the cone, while the third gives
small bites on top of ice cream.
Which of the three married? '
The teacher blushes and says, 'I suppose the second ...
that swallows up the ice cream cone '
Gianni,' Well, the correct answer was the one that takes faith, but ... I like how
reasons'!

Moral # 4: Let the reason will always prevail.





Friday, December 11, 2009

Where Can I Find Free Dragon Ball Z Doujinshi

BY PROFESSIONAL hater


I hate:

WOMEN ... those almost flat .... those with lots of makeup to hide flaws in your face .... those with bad breath .... those with bad breath and you want to kiss at all costs .... those with armpits that smell .... those with feet that smell .... those with the pussy that stinks .... those who always complain and nothing .... those who demand more and never give .... those that stress you and you are stuck .... those who say they're fat and do not even have ass .... those that give you the 2 of spades because you do not have a bank account with 6 zeros.

SEA AND BEACH ... those who go to the beach and you accidentally pull the head in the sand .... those who are playing volleyball on the beach and you get the ball on the head .... on the beach when they are placed a few inches from you even though there is room elsewhere .... when I go running along and the kids and they shoot you water .... when you get a bad sunburn .... some jellyfish stings when you .... when there is dirty water from the sea .... when there are turds floating in the sea .... when there are assholes who swim in the sea .... when girls are on the beach you do not shit .... when the beach is full of ciospe and obese women with varicose veins and cellulite galore .... when you run away from you and go pee in the water in it .... inadvertently when you drink the sea water is salty and you know why you piss all over the world.

AUTO ... those who drive with his hat in the car .... those who drive .... talking on the phone those that do not put the arrow .... those who park in the second row .... those who park in third row .... those who are asleep at the traffic light .... those they hold in the street to pull up a whore .... those who cross the street without seeing .... those who honk for no reason .... than one meter high and a huge cock on big cars .... those who are on a ferrari and have 80 years .... those who go 50 km per hour in the second lane .... those who are straddling the two lanes .... the window cleaner who jump on the machine .... when the machine is fired in the reserve .... when the machine has the battery on the ground .... when the machine is covered by ice .... when the machine fails and I have to release money to repair it .... when the car is filthy and I do not have time to wash it .... when the machine is clean and there on some shit sparrow .... when the machine is clean and it starts raining .... when the car is scratched and I do not know who to thank.

TRAM AND METRO ... those who have the hot breath on the tram .... those that smell of sweat on the tram .... those using strong perfumes and nauseous on the train .... Loffa those on the train .... those who do not give way to the elderly .... those who, despite being full tram, they want to go at all costs .... those who handle bags or umbrellas regardless of who is around them .... Ćićarija the old ladies on the tram .... when the tram is always full of old ladies in direct cemetery .... when the tram is full of people .... when the tram goes down .... when the tram ends the race in advance .... when the tram is extremely late .... when the tram is late and spend only the other .... when they ask me if I get off the tram and they are far from the .... uncomfortable when I find a place on the tram .... controllers when they get on the tram and I have a ticket .... when does a scorching heat on the subway.

DOGS ... those that are dirty dogs on the sidewalks .... crush the dog poop .... those small dogs that bark more, even with their shadows .... those who beat their dogs .... those who leave their dog.

GENERAL ... when there is a queue at the post .... when there is a queue at the supermarket .... when I find what I'm looking to super or a music store .... when I need something I have at home and can not find it .... those who are snobbish .... those who look at you from top to bottom .... those who mock you .... those who snubbed you .... What you do not apologize or thank you .... What you do not shit when we talk together .... those who talk, talk and say shit .... those who smoke cigars stink .... those that pull up his nose .... those who spit on the ground .... those who throw paper on the floor .... those who throw syringes on the ground .... those ch and go in hard and fall of ecstasy .... those who get to use the drill on Sunday at 3 pm .... who calls you at 3 am and then you're wrong number .... those Bonehead (screaming) for a night .... having to go to bed .... having to get out of bed .... having to go to work .... the unexpected .... delays (others ).... covers the music .... advertising .... TV .... Pippo Baudo.

KITCHEN ... when you eat them and feel close sbrofonchiare .... When the pasta is overcooked .... when they put the salt in the pasta .... when I dirty pants sauce .... when I smoke while I eat in front .... when heating the food .... when there are dirty cutlery .... when the water is SGAS .... when the water is warm .... when water is used Ferrarelle .... when I go across the water .... when the bread is on Sunday .... when my grandmother buy the damn croissants .... When you buy pastries and old .... when I drink a coffee cup is cold .... when I drink coffee and I find it watery .... when I drink coffee and tastes like burnt .... when I want a hot chocolate with whipped cream and I find myself drinking a crap.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

How To Enjoy Hydrocodone

Blog illegal? This' k law could be a source of crime

Based on what you will read this and email may also be a source of crime.

Yesterday, the Senate approved the so-called security package (DDL 733), among others, an amendment by Senator Gianpiero D'Alia (UDC) which is established by Article 50-bis: Repression activity of apology or instigation to commit a crime carried out via the Internet, the text will arrive next week in the House making the article no. 60. Senator Gianpiero D'Alia (UDC) is not part of the majority to the Government and this speaks volumes about the versatility of the design freedom-of "Caste."

In practice, under this amendment if any citizen through a blog then call to disobey (or criticize?) To a law that it deems unfair, the / providers / must block the blog.

This measure may obscure a site anywhere, even if abroad, the Minister of the Interior, after notice of the court, may in fact have a decree with the & # 39; interruption of the activities of bloggers, orders to suppliers of network connectivity internetdi use the appropriate filtering tools necessary for that purpose.

activity filtering should be set within 24 hours, the breach of that obligation implies provider for a fine of between € 50,000 and € 250,000
For bloggers instead be imprisonment from 1 to 5 years for incitement to murder and condoning of crime as well as a further penalty by 6 months to 5 years perl'istigazione disobedience of the laws of public order or hatred between the social classes.

With this law would be immediately cleaned up the search engines from all the Caste link to uncomfortable!

In practice, the power is being equipped with weapons in Italy to block Facebook, Youtube and * all * blog that currently represent in Italy the only unconditional information, and / or censored.

I remind you that ours is the only country in the world where a / media company / YouTube sued asking for damages of € 500 million for compensation.

The name of this / media company /, incidentally, is Mediaset
So the government intervenes for the umpteenth time, in an area which, quite incidentally, involves an undertaking by the Prime in a conflict of interest and judicial
.

Dopo la proposta di legge Cassinelli e l'istituzione di una commissione contro la pirateria digitale e multimediale che tra poco meno di 60 giorni dovrà presentare al Parlamento un testo di legge su questa  materia, questo emendamento al "pacchetto sicurezza" di fatto rende esplicito il progetto del Governo di /normalizzare/ con leggi di repressione internet e tutto il sistema di relazioni e informazioni sempre più capillari che non si riesce a dominare. 

Mentre negli USA Obama ha vinto le elezioni grazie ad internet in Italia il governo si ispira per quanto riguarda la libertà di stampa alla Cina e alla  Birmania. 

Today, the only media that have been bouncing this news blog Beppe Grillo and the trade magazine Computer
Place Where there is free information and right to criticize the concept of democracy becomes a dialectical problem!